Resolve participants

“Kia Ora, I am a single mother with three school age children. I grew up in a family where there was huge neglect. My mother walked out and left us to fend for ourselves as a family when I was eight years old. My father was home occasionally but drank heavily and we had to steal food to survive. I was severely burned as a two-year-old and over the years I was forced to clothe and provide for my brothers and sisters with the ACC payout I received. On my first day of Resolve I felt depressed and as I continued to do the course I found out I had an enormous amount of pain that left me with denial, uncertainty, confusion, shame, guilt, fear, and above all, anger. My childhood wasn't secure, reliable, affectionate, loving or a happy home. It was a home of abuse, drugs, alcohol, neglect, abandonment, and silence. The times I did feel loved were very rare for me. Doing Resolve and Reconnect has opened my eyes to the point where I can now see through the haze and see a healthier happier me. How I was raised can affect my future as it has in the past. However, to understand it wasn't my fault has helped me to forgive. To know it's okay to feel all my feelings and to know how to put boundaries in place has provided me with self-confidence, a voice, and the strength to move forward.

I am turning my story of pain into a hero story, because I am a survivor. I now believe in myself - that I am good enough to love. As each day goes by I have been able to use the knowledge from the course to become healed and to be set free from anger, pain and negative thinking. I know that I can now give my children a much better future. Thank you Lorraine for your commitment, intelligence, guidance and support. I recommend this course to anyone with an anger problem because beneath that anger are unresolved issues that can be resolved by taking the steps Resolve provides.” (Natasha. Single mother of two girls aged 9 and 7 and a boy aged 6)

“As a past drug abuser and mental health patient, I came to the Resolve programme with many problems to deal with. I have found the programme to be most useful in changing the way I deal with my emotional and spiritual life. This course has provided me with the skills and tools to clear my anger and heal my emotional wounds.”  (Robyn. 45 year-old single woman).

“Before beginning this programme I knew that I had a major anger problem, which I believed I would never overcome. As a child I was severely physically and sexually abused and neglected. Frequently I was told that I should never have been born. Often after a beating I was locked in an outside wood box and forgotten about for days. I didn’t receive any love and I thought I was a very bad person. Resolve has helped me to become aware of why I am angry, what causes me to be angry, how to practice coping strategies, how to ask for help when I need it. Most importantly for me, I am learning to love and accept myself as a good person. My self-esteem has improved significantly and I am able to deal with situations now in a way that doesn’t hurt me or anyone else. I know that I can now deal with any situation because I have a better understanding of what to do to help myself. I have recommended this programme to all my family and friends and would recommend Resolve and Reconnect to anyone who wanted to achieve peace and happiness. I am a single mother of two boys aged 15 and 10 and my family has now become the loving and supportive family I have always wanted, and for this, I will be eternally grateful to Lorraine for creating this programme.” Naku Noa. (Marta. Single mother of 2 boys aged 15 and 10).

“At the beginning of the programme Resolve I was on the verge of self-destruction. I lived my life of chaos, hurt, depression and worthlessness around drugs and people whom I couldn’t trust. Low self-esteem and having no confidence made it hard for me to understand what was going on around me. To trust myself and feelings was a big step in itself but through Resolve and Reconnect I have learnt so much; to be patient and understanding, to find the source of my anger, to think before doing and saying things, to find peace and forgiveness – to make me a happier, more gentle person to my loved ones and children. I can now trust and believe the process I have learned for making peace with my past and managing the effects of anger in the future.”  (32 year-old solo mother of 2 teenagers aged 12 and 16)

"I lived on anger; it was everyday life – yelling at my children, smacking them, throwing things around my house, swearing all day long. After eight weeks I have found peace, my house is not so loud, my children sit in time-out and my mouth isn’t so dirty." (Desiree, 22, mother of three)

"I have changed from a victim to a survivor." (Trish, 35)

Resolve Facilitators

"As an experienced counsellor and facilitator of the Resolve programme, I see transformation take place consistently in participants’ lives. In regard to healing, the depth of work done in this therapeutic group process combined with individual counselling is incomparable. Even clients, who have spent many years in individual counselling or other programmes, testify to the depth of healing Resolve brings. The group process along with the listening, compassion, validation and psycho-education, enable participants’ to access deep level emotion, resolve and let go of historical anger, and bring understanding and forgiveness to their lives.” (Ali Andrew, Dip Counselling)

 "I am an experienced counsellor who has also had periods of personal counselling and I have been surprised at the power of Resolve to uncover aspects of my self still in need of illumination and action. This carefully structured and beautifully paced programme enables participants to attend safely to deeply held feelings and beliefs that feed long held grievances in a caring and supportive atmosphere. Therapeutic gains have been made by all the participants but those who are receiving individual counselling seem to have especially benefited. The balance between teaching and therapy has suited all the participants in my group who have come from a wide range of backgrounds. They have absorbed quite sophisticated material and shown a thirst for finding out more about what makes human beings function well. As the programmed draws to a close I get the feeling that the next step for many of the participants is to find either permanent employment or tertiary education programmes that will improve their future career choices. Such positive intentions are testimony to the transformative power of the programme to build confidence, foster hope and stimulate a desire for change." (Ginny Silva Wilkinson, Dip Tchg, BA, MEd. (Counselling) ANZAC)

"I am very excited about the Resolve progamme, having seen the benefits in my own life and the lives of other participants. Resolve provides participants with a safe and nurturing group environment where they can learn practical insights and skills which enable them to break individual and family patterns of anger, unresolved grief and pain and replace them with control of life and peace.  Everyone can benefit from this programme." (Carolyn Manning, Dip. Tchg, Dip. Speech Therapy, B Theol., M.Ed. (Counselling)

"I enjoyed the depth of Resolve. It is a programme that goes a lot deeper by providing psycho-education, information and skills to help participants understand their experiences so they can get past the anger and establish a new way of being. They learn how to work through a healing process that resolves pain and puts old and current hurts to rest. Through true forgiveness, participants are provided with an opportunity to heal and find the peace and freedom 'to be.' (Meera Chetty, BA., B Ed., P G Dip Sch. Management, M Ed. (Counselling) trainee.)

"As a trained counsellor and a facilitator of the Resolve programme I have been given real insight into how people struggle with anger, rage and violence on a daily basis. Through participating in the programme, participants are given hope and the practical resources to deal with the underlying issues of their anger. They are given the tools to manage their relationships and behaviour more effectively. I am amazed at the ease with which participants move from self-defeating behaviours to an attitude of hope, self-appreciation and personal strength. (Sandi Hawnt, Dip Counselling, MNZCCA.) 

Building Families parenting programmes

"I have participated in many parenting courses but none have been life-changing like this one." (Kristen Whyte, mother of 3, Auckland)

"It’s great to hear it’s never too late. I would have loved to have this teaching 25 years ago. I will pass it on to my adult children. It has changed the way I grandparent." (Jan Stewart, mother of 5, grandmother of 16, Whangarei)

"Building Families for Life is extremely helpful. What I have learnt has set me up for life. Every parent should attend." (Megan Hirst, mother of 3, Auckland)